Bitter sweet

Planning to be away from your children can do funny things to your head. Firstly of course you are absolutely excited about having the chance to get away. Whether it be to spend time with hubby, friends or even alone. It’s something that we all love to do and often need so that we can recharge ourselves and remember what it’s like to walk without a child on our hip or a toddler clinging to your leg. No ‘tween’ eye rolls or teenage grunting. You get to wear clothes that have no “extras” shall we call them (unless of course it’s your own), they are free of snot, marker pen, sticky hand marks..etc etc. You can even apply makeup once...just to yourself! (I have four daughters..if they had the choice they would have exactly what I had every application.) Then there’s the chance to have an adult conversation without knowing that, unless it’s midnight, the odds are you’re going to be interrupted. The possibilities on our child free holiday are endless....

But then there is the other side...the little voice that makes you wonder whether they will be ok without you while you are gone. I mean, you know that they are being left in perfectly good care, we’re not that cold to leave them with just anyone. I’m sure we would vet them if we knew it could be done without the intended sitters (who just happen to be our parents or dearest friends) finding out. Yet for some reason hand selecting these people doesn’t stop the worry that parents have when they are leaving their most precious possessions behind.

Will #1 take care of her little brother and sisters so that they are happy but also so that she is not stressed out and weighed down with it?

Will #2 help #1 to look after said brother and sisters and also cope with said babysitters in place of her mummy and daddy?

Will #3 get to his soccer game? .....what? He’s the star player on the team....he’s all good otherwise.

Will #4 keep her room tidy without having to be bullied into it? (ok..scratch that one..some miracles just aren’t ready to happen).

And will #5 even remember us while we are away?

Will they all get enough love and cuddles to compensate for the unfamiliar territory of being made to carry on as normal even though mummy and daddy get to go away and do something out of the norm?

Do they realise that mummy and daddy love them forever and ever despite wanting to be away from them for a short time?

And the most haunting for me and perhaps a little morbid, but real nonetheless, what if this is the last time that I ever see my babies?

We will go away and come back having had a fabulous time I’m sure but until then (which happens to be 5 days away) the exciting anticipation of the trip is just a little tainted with the worry about my little darlings.

So my advice to self is to make the most of every minute that I have with them. Enjoy the cuddles, the questions, the eye-rolls, the answering back, the kisses and all the moments that we will have before we go because we will go for a week without them and then be right back in the thick of it wondering why I was worried about going away and leaving them for a few short days.

In the meantime if you see them around give them a wave, a quick hug and tell them that we must be missing them terribly and will be back very soon.

Bon voyage!

Life socks sometimes!

Today was one of those days where I realised just how hard my life had gotten. And I mean hard. Oh I know...there are people out there starving and homeless, alone and afraid, dealing with disabilities you say....along with countless other trials that life throws us...but I’m wondering if they have to deal with THE Sock Monster? I am seriously thinking that this thing is the deal breaker of all deal breakers!

You see I have a drawer especially devoted to odd socks. I can’t stand the thought of un-matching socks just floating around in the kids drawers so I keep them there until the missing one magically re-appears and is able to be matched with it’s long lost buddy thus providing someone with warmth for their feet and me with endorphins because I made a match (I’m not kidding it really does!)

This drawer also provides a form of punishment for children who do the whole “mummmmm..I caaan’t find any sockkkkkssss” to which I reply (and I’m not sure why I bother anymore as almost 11 years of it hasn’t seemed to make any difference whatsoever)....”oh well you’ll have to wear some odd ones from the sock drawer!” They would rather go bare feet in the dead of winter and have their skin stick to the icy footpaths than wear odd socks of course.

Anyway lately the drawer is not doing what it’s supposed to be doing. It’s messing with my head instead of providing me with the match up buzz that I need. You see a while ago I went through and got rid of a whole heap of socks that I swear have been in there forever and I was sure were at the “beyond hope” status. I gave them to our daughters kindy so that was a great thing to do right? I mean they use them there for hand puppets. Ooohhh cute we all say. So surely that should give me brownie points within the universe. I feel you all nodding with me (and when I say you all I do mean the thousands that I imagine to be reading such riveting stuff!).

....so do you know how the universe has rewarded me? After 27 years (teeny tiny exaggeration) of being lost two of those socks have now been found! How I ask you is that fair? What did I do to deserve that? Now it’s a lose lose situation. I can’t make any match ups...nor can I go and demand my sock back from some poor kindy kid. Ripping it’s little button eyes off would just be cruel.

So here I am left with socks that have no place in my home despite being in perfectly good condition. They look new and yet they are destined for a life in the sock drawer. That is just a cruel kind of irony for ya. Oh well...I suppose I always knew the risk I was taking when I made the decision to have a clean out. There are big gains to be made in the sock matching business along with big losses. Win some lose some and all that. I still think it’s a hard pill to swallow but it won’t stop me from getting back out there people. You won’t take me down you dastardly sock monster!

How all the madness began..

Let's see if for once in my life I can make this a short story...once upon a time....no wait that's the long version. There was a boy, who asked out a girl, who said yes. He gave her a box of chocolates at the end of the date and she was pretty much hooked. Four months later they were married, 11mths later they brought a house and had #1g, 2yrs (give or take a month or so) they had #2g, 19mths later they had #3b (yay...we got a boy along with a new house project ), 2 and a half yrs later they had #4g (oops...that wasn't the plan), so one more try and 2yrs later they had #5...what's it gonna be? You guessed it..or not..but another girl.
Not wanting to take anymore gambles that lovely young couple...that may have gotten slightly older decided to be happy with their lot and 11 and a half years after they were married, the fairer half (you can't see me so I can be who I want on here!) decided to start a blog about life.

How was that for super condensed? If I'd been doing the long version you would have heard how many times I've had to pick up dirty socks and underwear left lying around, wipe spilt milk (no I'm not crying about it), change smelly nappies, been woken up during the night and dealt with a laundry basket equal to the barrel in the widow's mite story! (and not in a good way). You would also hear about the smiles of a toddler while surrounded in margarine smeared through the carpet, the hand of a child placed on your cheek while little lips say "I love you mummy", tears cried for a son or daughter that has been left out from their friends and feeling their pain as though it is your own, receiving a hug from a child who is so excited about something that they share it with you through that hug and of course snuggling with sleeping kiddies who have finally succumbed to the sleep monster right there next to you on your bed.

I'm sure my story is pretty familiar to a lot of people. Same old same old, you could say but that's what makes it so cool. We are all here experiencing similar things in our own lives and I believe those are some of the things that connect us together. We can bond over them, empathize with them, laugh through them and love because of them. They are unique yet the same.

As I sit on my bed and look at two of my little cherubs sleeping so peacefully I marvel at how much love I feel for them despite intense frustration with them at times. They are my everything. Families are eternal and what an honour it is to be a mother and wife to 5 incredible children and 1 overwhelmingly fantastic husband. Don't get me wrong...some days the honour is not appreciated openly. But always in the back of my mind I know that I have much to be grateful for.

(You might need to refer me back to this post every now and then ok).

Hair we go again!

I left the two little girls with their dad today. It was only for an hour or so but that short space of time has caused years of consequences. Some may say I’m being a little dramatic but believe me when I say it’s true.
Let me explain. I was happily doing my Avon deliveries (did I mention I’m an Avon rep for anyone who would like a catalogue!) when I received a txt from hubby saying he had a ‘code red’. He said that if they made it into a movie it would be called two babies and a haircut. I hate that movie. I’ve seen it. It was made by our two oldest girls and I’m sure they were also with their father at the time.
I was afraid. Very afraid. I got home to be greeted by #4 with a very definite mullet and #5 looking like she had had a few treatments of chemo. It had taken years to get #4's hair to how it had been as a result of hair growing at the back of her head but painfully slow at the sides, and in one (possibly 2 or 3) foul swoops it was back to square one again. It is a cut that only time or a number one could heal.
As for #5…I have done what I can do but gone are her gorgeous little blonde locks. Gone are the….sigh…what’s the point…reminiscing isn’t going to bring them back. Neither will it stop me from leaving them in the care of their father. But perhaps next time it will remind me to make sure all the scissors are away before I go out!

Where it all started.

This whole blogging thing is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time. I don't know why...maybe it's just that I'm a jump on the bandwagon type of person. Maybe it's because a couple of friends have been telling me I should (one who shall remain Sere even went so far as to open the account etc), maybe it's because Meg has one and I love reading the things she writes or maybe it's just as a way of keeping a record of things that I would never record otherwise. Who knows but here I am and finally doing it.

While I want to be real about my experience as a mother, wife and woman in this day and age I would rather be upbeat than negative. If I am slightly sarcastic it is not my intention to be offensive but rather my way of biting my tongue or making light of that which is sometimes upsetting or frustrating.

Anyway...it's probably just going to be me reading it or using it as my sounding board so it doesn't really matter anyway.

....or maybe it will be a way of saving the world! It's nice to dream big sometimes. I think being an at home mum is already a step in that direction personally but I am the first to admit that I am slightly bias (of course only about things that I am right about) and just a teeny tiny bit opinionated!

I have no idea how to jazz my page up, add photos or do all the little flash things that others do. I'm hoping that I will learn as I go. Common sense would tell me to ask those that know but as we learn from history..it would be far too easy to learn from the wise. Ask any new parent that has had their own parent give them some advice about their new baby, marriage, whatever. Eyes will be rolled and the most common reply will be "sure mum...that was in YOUR day, things have changed since then!" Of course we all know that they will probably end up doing things pretty much the same way that their parents did it but it takes a while to get to that.

So here's to my new journey as a blogging blogger.

Wish me luck.